Blaze's Story Page 2
21st May 2008 - Blaze had his catheter put back in as his kidneys were back up again. So Mr Bailie wanted to leave it 2 weeks to see if the catheter would help the situation any. We were also told today that the operation on Blaze's Left kidney was very likely. The pyleoplasty is going to remove a lot of the baggy kidney and reattach the tube removing the kink. Mr Bailie was hopeful that if Blaze's left kidney was operated on that the right kidney may be able to heal itself. Again its a very anxious time but we prepare ourself to send the wee man into theatre again.
4th June- Back up to see Mr Bailie-Blaze had an ultrasound which showed his kidneys were no better-and that his left kidney was very baggy and part of it looked like it had folded. Given a date for surgery-16th June Blaze was to be admitted for surgery on the 17th.
16th June- Admitted to Barbour Ward- this is now a very familiar place for us. As usual I stay with Blaze constantly when he is in hospital. So leaving Amber at home is tough. We had the proceedure explained to us and anaethatists took bloods and told us that they would probably just use a central line again-and all the risks of that were explained. I always hate signing those bright yellow forms-which although essential for concent to operate-always make me feel like I am signing my sons life away. Of course this is my heart talking and not my head which tried to calm me into remembering we do all this to try to help Blaze. But the uncertainty and worry can take over!
17th June-Operation Day- This is one of the scariest days I have had so far with Blaze. He is so tiny and sending him into theatre again fills me with dread. He was marked and prepared for surgery at 8 am. Looking at the giant black X on his left side is a bit more than I can take today especially as he is so happy and smiling up at me. All too soon the time comes for us to head to theatres. Walking to theatres with your child is somthing only people who have been there can describe! Its a short walk but almost makes me feel like a one way road...because what happens in there can change your life forever. As we wait in the play area infront of theatres the play specialists and nurses amuse the children but think today they have to cousel me more than Blaze. Being in the bright and cheerul room which is kitted out with amazing equipment, which under normal circumstances would be a joy is now filling me with utter terror. You know when you see it that you are minutes away from handing overyour precious bundle. My heart sank when I seen the nurse come towards me. It was time. I was holding Blaze and hugged him tightly. Kissing him, I told him I loved him and reluctantly handed him over. Watching the nurse walk away with my son, my baby boy, was a sight Id seen before but still couldnt handle. I totally lost it and broke down. Crying hard, feeling sorry for myself...feeling helpless and afraid..nurses immediately were at my side-trying to reassure me but nothing in those moments can really help. As we are escorted out of the theatre suite , Darren and I never speak. There is nothing to say...what can you say in times like these? We just hold each others hand and walk the lonely walk back towards to main hospital wards. Blaze was going to be away for hours and the time drags in. We went to the cafe for a coffee...sitting there feeling sick with nerves, we tried to put in the time. I dont remeber what time it was..but I remember looking up and seeing Mr Bailie standing in the doorway.My heart stopped and all I could think was 'O NO what has happened'. I am sure it sounded rude but all I could say to him was "Should you not be with my son?" He came to us and told us that Blaze was through the surgery and all went well. Blaze was in recovery and that soon we could go see him. That was the best thing I had heard all day! We still had to wait till recovery called for us..but just knowing he was back out of the theatres and doing well was like being able to breathe again. When we finally got the call we practically ran the way to recovery unit..........more to come check back soon!